June 21, 2011

“All women live in sexual objectification the way fish live in water” — Martha Nussbaum. Fair enough, but when does appreciation of physical beauty become objectification? And when does objectification go from harmless to dangerous? Probably whenever it becomes the exclusive way that a man relates to women, as clearly this would not be conducive to empowerment or love. It could even lead to misogyny (hatred or dislike of women). Certainly most misogynists exhibit such behavior. But all men who appreciate the physical beauty of women are not misogynists.

BTW, this is meant to be a politically correct cover for the ‘R’ rated update “Earthquakes and Assholes” below. There is concern among my advisors that when Radical.FM takes off, evil critics may find cannon fodder in that text, so sensitive souls and unfriendly reporters should not peek. In the debate that ensued upon my writing of “E&A” my very morality was brought into question.

Do I objectify women?

Clearly.

Am I a misogynist?

Quite the opposite.

I am in fact a philogynist (a friend/lover of women; one who esteems females as the higher type of humanity). Permit me an anecdote;

Years ago when asked to join some guys for a beer after work I said, “Sure, are the girls coming along?”

“What for, we’re all married — if you’re not going to sleep with them who needs women?” Laughter ensued.

“I need them” I replied seriously.

The jovial mood was broken and the guys wandered off mumbling ‘suit yourself’ and ‘have fun’. And it dawned on me that not all men loved women’s company as I did. I’ve always been comfortable around women. I need women in my life whether I’m sleeping with them or not. That’s a fact.

I love all of my sisters. I love most of my ex-girlfriends. I even love my ex-wife. My daughters… well, what do you think? I have myriad female friends (though few in LA thus far), wonderful longstanding relationships with ex-secretaries and female employees, and I’m regularly friended on FB by women I haven’t seen since childhood — and I love that.

But I suppose I’ve slept with more than my share. And I am obviously drawn to curvaceous women with exotic faces whom I don’t mind showing off, so it would be foolish to argue that I never objectify them. But my objectification of women does not preclude my loving them. Nor does it preclude genuine friendship with them. Nor does it preclude empowering their public personas, supporting their educations, or finding their intellects stimulating.

My sisters are accomplished professionals. I married a highly intellectual journalist. My daughters are confident mature and independent. It’s difficult to imagine how I could empower co-workers more than I do Radical’s female staff. I took Yoshiko across Africa in a Buggy. And I put Mercy through high-school and tried to steer her into college. So what if I admire the asses of those women not related to me more than most men do? Uh oh, I’m drifting towards politically questionable content again…

So, how about those Mets!

By the way, I objectify the Buggy too, even though I love her. What’s that you say, the Buggy IS an object? How dare you! She is my friend and has carried me through many tough times. But she is not much into diamonds or dresses, so I got her new tires and wheels instead. Quite the little head-turner this Buggy of mine, no?

May 17, 2011

Adventuress Wanted’s distributors are ineffectual small men whose heads are oversized because they work in the film industry. After months of talk but no action it is obvious that I’ll have to handle things myself if this film is to find its rightful audience. The amount of bullshit in this town is staggering. Did you know that you can get your asshole bleached in Hollywood? Apparently God picked the wrong color for some of us. You’d better check yours.

California is no place to be in the rain and it’s pouring. But there are hundreds of HD channels on my big screen TV. I’ve got high-speed internet, a Bluetooth headset, a nice office, and a kick-ass staff. I’m CEO of a cutting edge media corporation again, and we are about to launch our core product into the biggest music market in the world. When I fly now it’s for business, Switzerland, New York, Transylvania — and I miss Africa. Travel and adventure kept me sane; now I’ve got LA and Power Yoga.

Thankfully I’ve also got the Buggy.

But I’ve got no woman. Yoshiko and I have thrown in the towel. By the way, Yoshiko is fine. She was working in an office when the biggest earthquake in recorded Japanese history struck a few weeks ago, but she was not hurt physically. Yoshiko was also getting dressed for high school in Kobe when 6000 people were killed in that city in the ‘96 quake. And she was a dive instructor at The Four Seasons in the Maldives when the 2004 tsunami washed clear over their island wiping out the resort completely.

Yoshiko’s birthday is September 11th.

Anyway I’m single again. I’m working out regularly, eating well, and I’m strong as hell. But lack of regular sex makes me feel weak, and 18 hour work days don’t leave a lot of time for dating. I really just need a hot babe to spend Sundays in bed with me, the rest of the week I’m too busy. I hear the hookers are great in LA but I’ve never been big on prostitutes. Not for moral reasons mind you, mostly its vanity; I like to believe that I can still attract beautiful women without paying them in cash. Plus I’m scared of HIV. Finally, despite the statistical likelihood that some woman has faked an orgasm with me, I like to believe that most were real; that could be difficult with a professional.

I wrote the first chapter of a novel just before I started Radical.FM. The storyline uses my relationship with the beautiful but crazy Sari as a canvas on which to splash some anecdotal incidents from my life. It seems unfair to other women I’ve known longer than Sari that she commands so much of my memory. But insanity (and its brink) is hard to top as a source of creative inspiration. Recently a brilliant friend of mine started rambling on Facebook and I sensed that she was straddling the edge, so I lassoed her back to this side with the following anecdote;

Some years ago, while emotionally distraught in jail (I was not distraught at being in jail, rather I was in jail as an indirect result of being distraught — over my break-up with Sari) I realized one night in an isolation cell that all I needed to do to cross over to the comfortable world of the ‘checked out’ was to allow it to happen. It was eerily fascinating and alarmingly tempting. I consciously chose to rein my mind back in, and I’m glad.

Miran understood me perfectly and thanked me profusely. That was a useful day.

This day is questionable. I certainly haven’t saved anybody. I’ve gotten little real work done. I haven’t enjoyed the outdoors, smelled the flowers, gotten laid, or even gone to the gym. And it’s still raining.

Maybe I should get drunk?

Or maybe I should squat over a mirror and check that my asshole is the right color?

I am in LA you know.

January 25, 2011

Human beings need perspective. We won’t find it on TV.

Still, my daughter and I really enjoyed the series Boston Legal. Then an old friend recommended Mad Men, an outstanding period piece about my father’s America; where white-collar workers drank whisky at the office, presidential candidates were expected to have extra-marital affairs, and EVERYBODY smoked cigarettes. And Californication is my all time favorite show of the moment; a sort of contemporary Mad Men with X-File’s David Duchovny playing a troubled novelist drowning in a sea of Californian decadence. The line is blurring between mediocre movies and quality TV. But there is a real world out there, beyond our high-def screens, beyond our political borders, and beyond most of our imaginations, and my experience in Africa will never let me forget it.

Marilyn Monroe described Hollywood as a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. I came here seeking distribution for my movie and it’s not been a pleasant experience. But after a year of knocking on doors I finally signed a film distribution deal; Adventuress Wanted now has worldwide representation by an established Hollywood distributor (Taurus Entertainment Company). There is no cash guarantee; I get a percentage of sales (if any). But having one’s debut feature film get picked up by a distributor is significant, and all involved are thrilled. And this would likely not have happened if I were anywhere else in the world; which means that on rare occasion, Hollywood can still be a place where dreams really do come true.

Persistence also paid off when we were accepted to our first (and thus far only) competition, The New York International Film Festival — and we won! Adventuress Wanted garnered me an award for Best Directorial Debut.

It’s nice to have bragging rights as an award winning director, but with Adventuress Wanted out of my hands I had too much time for drinking beer and watching TV. So I have put myself back to work relaunching a popular on-line music service we developed in Sweden just before I started this movie. Tomsradio.com was an idea ahead of its time when we founded it, but after six years in Africa the music industry has finally caught up. So we have given that site a major facelift and a new name, and Radical.FM will be an interactive Internet radio station for the US market and eventually the world. If successful, it could make me a lot of money. But these days I don’t require a lot of money, I appreciate the important things in life like family and friends. It would be nice to buy my kids a studio apartment each and maybe a sailboat for myself, but that’s still not big money. No, if I make a lot of money now, I think it’s time to give some back.

‘The African Academy for Gifted Girls’ is an aid project I dreamed up during my time in Zambia. It wouldn’t replace regular high school, rather compliment it. Through a series of tests we would identify the brightest local youth and provide them the means to continue studying to at least a Western college entry level. The Academy would feed and house them and cover all tuition, books, and fees. Most importantly we would supplement the weak local schooling with extra courses in vitals like computers, communications, international politics, and community service. And practical things like swimming, nutrition, and basic self-defense training to build discipline and confidence. Finally, they would all have valid passports, and have been on several field trips each by graduation.

The idea is to make them attractive international college candidates, and sought after employees should they decide to forgo university. Either way they would be instilled with a sense of giving something back to the local community once productive adults. As students, they would help to develop the Academy’s Internet site, represent themselves to the international community, and even assist with fundraising events. The most talented could help to run and expand the program making it almost self-perpetuating. Aid programs fail because the billionaires and bureaucrats earmarking the funds can’t relate to the people they are trying to help. While Bill Gates and MIT debate the performance requirements of ‘hundred-dollar laptops’ to be distributed to poor children, they miss the big picture; without a point of reference the kids will only use them to play games and listen to music. Technology should not be a priority. In Central Africa those fortunate enough to have jobs often walk two hours a day to work; bicycles could increase their productivity by 20% — just look at Asia. Electric water pumps fall into disuse in villages for lack of a fifteen cent o-ring. Why not install cheap old fashioned hand pumps instead? Then local mechanics can manufacture replacement parts and keep them working long after the Western engineers have gone home.

Providing gifted, socially conscientious, and internationally astute local leaders for the price of your average African boarding school may prove to be a very successful aid strategy. And although women are clearly second class citizens in Africa and in more need of support than men, if the program is successful there is no reason that it could not be expanded to cover all gifted youth; and why not all developing nations? But it is important to start small and let experience shape the speed and direction of growth.

In any case I first have to get rich… yep, there is always a catch. And while we are thrilled by the fact that Adventuress Wanted is finally gaining some traction, it in no way guarantees me money. So Radical.FM it is!

I succeeded in raising seed capital recently so I’ve donned a suit again (never a tie) and leapt back into the competitive corporate chaos that was once my daily fare. And it feels surprisingly appropriate after years on the road. I am wiser and still strong, and the music industry will succumb… we hope.

So stay tuned for a Radical launch in early 2011.

But don’t get the idea that I have forgotten about the movie industry. Radical.FM is a worthy effort on its own, but it may also further my film career. If Radical is successful then American media will wonder where I came from and Adventuress Wanted may find an even bigger audience. Then down the line somewhere when I’ve hung-up my Armani and I’m running the ‘African Academy for Gifted Girls’ as an independently wealthy philanthropist, tired of comfortable vodkas and American TV, I’ll be in a perfect position to do some ultra high-def adventure films in deepest Africa.

Ah yes, the best laid plans of mice and men…

Meantime I’m going to start season four of Californication and have a beer.

Have a great year everybody!